I Shot for the Sky
by sineadxrose
Summary: Ryou Shirogane is drunk and with another bad decision probably in the making, he goes to see Ichigo and start the catalyst of what could be the start or the end of their relationship.
1. Down

**I shot for the Sky**

_I die each time you look away_

_My heart, my life will never be the same_

_This love will take my everything_

_One breathe, one touch will be the end of me_

* * *

><p>"Well, at least I can't call myself a coward anymore" Ryou Shirogane murmured darkly to himself. It was a small comfort for his courageousness had accomplished nothing except heartache and rejection. Pressing his flushed forehead against the icy cool window pane, Ryou sighed.<p>

Recalling what happened hours previous, he cringed and berated himself. He had finally decided to grit his teeth and go for it, be a man and tell the girl that he loved for the past five years that he was in love with her, and he still lost.

Ryou pictured her shoving him away with as much strength as she could muster when he had kissed her. Not accustomed to expressing feelings, especially with words, his body had taken control, with a passion of frustrated years in yearning for her.

He made himself entirely vulnerable (something he abhorred doing, quite comfortable behind his cool façade of indifference), had shown his affection for her when he—_when he kissed her. _

And she had naturally thrown it back at him as though it were detestable, deplorable act on his part. He could picture her huge brown eyes swimming with a rage as she slapped him and ran away before he could utter a single word.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, he slammed his fist into the table and growled.

Damn it, why couldn't he just forget about it? Put it in the past as a horrible, embarrassing mistake and just be done with it. God this moping was pathetic, cringe-worthy even.

He was not supposed to act like this.

A Shirogane was not supposed to act like this.

Why did he have to keep torturing himself and replay her rejection over and over again?

_I'm a fucking idiot that's why, _he thought savagely to himself. _Stupid. Stupid idea._

Well, karma was a bitch so he should have really expected it. Why had he even considered anything good could happen to him? After all, he wasn't good. Hell, he wasn't even decent. He had made so many decisions that had hurt so many people. He didn't deserve her but that didn't mean he didn't want her. His mind wanted her and his body definitely craved her.

Body and soul, he thought dryly.

His affection for her had been plaguing him all these years. It made him act cool and indifferent, mocking and critically judgmental towards her; it made him act impossibly sweet when she was highly upset. His affection tethered between drawing away and drawing closer to her, pull and push. Afraid to get to close, yet never able to stray too far from her at the same time.

"I'm a mess" He remarked to the empty room. Clad in nothing but a pair of ratty sweatpants, Ryou sat atop his desk, slumped forward and nursing a drink. Empty liquor bottles and shot glasses littered the table around him. His usually kept blonde hair was now in complete disarray from running distraught hands through it. Ice blue eyes that once held clarity and a sharp fierceness had become bloodshot and unfocused.

He had not taken the rejection very well and he blearily looked around the empty and impersonalized room whilst downing any remnants of liquor he had scrounged up around the house. Vodka would at least temporarily dull the ache in his heart. Ryou didn't want to feel it anymore. He wished he could become the heartless bastard that everyone assumed he was.

He was a mess of an eighteen year old teenager, filled with anger, rage and confusion. Why would she want him? He couldn't deny the fact that he was a bunch of tangled issues that needed sorting. He was a burden.

And right now he was an emotional, vodka-induced mess.

He glared at the empty bottle, cursing it.

_Damn vodka, damn vodka and its fucking ability to turn me, a highly collected man, into a blubbering teenage girl._

He stumbled as he pushed himself away from his desk, the alcohol buzzing in his veins. He could feel the warmth and numbness coursing through him as his thoughts became a jumbled mess in head. He was inebriated and this was probably yet another bad decision in the making, but he wanted to see Ichigo.

Ryou pictured her in his mind's eye. It was so easy; he knew her face like he knew his own. Large chocolate brown eyes swimming with warmth, silky soft strawberry locks, and a friendly smile that just brightened up one's day.

He had to see her so he could…yell at her, shake her, explain to her, or cup her heart shaped face in his hands as he kissed her.

Or, he could go back into the role he had taken for most of his life. Act the coward, forget this day ever happened, and go to bed.

_Decisions, _he swayed on the spot as he tried to think amid the drunken stupor that wanted to descend upon him.

_Go or stay?_

* * *

><p><strong>Well, what do you think? I know it's rather short but I didn't plan on making it very long. I just wanted to try out a story from Ryou's perspective. At most it'll only be a four chapter story; I just had an idea and went with it. It's more of a tad dark story but nevertheless rest assured it will be a RyouXIchigo one.<strong>

**Review please!**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**SineadXrose**


	2. Your call

**I shot for the sky**

**Chapter 2. **

_And I'm tired of being all alone and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home_

* * *

><p>Ichigo Momimiya was, to put it mildly, in complete disarray. Her cotton candy locks of hair were thrown haphazardly in a messy of bun atop her head; her blue eyes were reduced to slits; And amid highly flushed cheeks, her mouth was scrunched up in a thin line.<p>

The reason for the agitation was, yet another, batch of extremely burnt brownies.

"Dammit!" She shouted, flinging her hands in the air "I give up!"

Huffing in frustration, she glared at the ancient oven accusingly, giving it a small kick for good measure. It moaned and creaked in objection and Ichigo scowled in response.

_No good piece of rubbish._

Just like the rest of her apartment, her oven was ancient.

On a good day she might refer to it fondly as a classy antique.

But today was not a good day or even an average day and thus she continually muttered about her "stupid apartment" and its "crappy furniture" and its desire to ruin her frickin life.

Pulling the charcoal colored mess of brownies on the counter whilst muttering under her breathe consistently, Ichigo decided to screw it all to hell.

Making brownies was a dumb idea anyway. Who wanted brownies? She didn't need them.

Her stomach grumbled in complaint at the thought.

_You'll thank me in the morning. _She told it sternly. _When you'll have a nice, trim waist to look forward to. _

Ichigo sighed wistfully down at the inedible batch once more before glancing around the kitchen in dismay.

Her room was a mess and filled with tons of collateral damage. Batches of half-baked, over baked desserts were splayed across the counter; Dishes were over piled in the sink; half-eaten batter mix sat on the table.

And to top it all off a nice sprinkling of flour coated everything much like a light shower of snow. Her kitchen looked like a warzone.

And it was all thanks to a certain, blonde-haired insufferable boy whose name was no longer allowed to be mentioned under her roof.

Logically, the condition of her kitchen and Ryou Shirogane did not connect. It wasn't like he had come in here and blown it up to bits. But, he had _kissed_ her.

Thus reducing Ichigo to a hyperventilating, confused, and angry mess.

And when Ichigo was upset, she liked to bake. A lot.

Thus her cooking frenzy had ensued though it hadn't proved to ensure many edible things…

One more dismayed glance around her kitchen and all her "desserts" was enough for Ichigo.

_Fuck it. _

Quickly rummaging into her fridge, she grabbed a carton of vanilla ice cream, and waltzed out of the kitchen. She would clean tomorrow; she had no motive or reason to, today. It was past midnight, no guests were coming over, and she had no work tomorrow.

Making her way through the obstacle that was her apartment, Ichigo skidded, leaped, and climbed over her dirty clothes, stacks of magazines, and new purchases.

She had never really understood all the work just living in a house entailed until she had her own apartment. It was hard to keep clean, it was hard to _not _burn anything, it was hard to control her shopping urges so she had enough money to pay her bills….it was just hard.

But her parents had made it look so easy. New found appreciation for her parents swelled within her breast as she thought of how they had managed everything.

Tottering over to the moth-eaten albeit comfortable couch, Ichigo shoved the assortment of blankets and books to the side, and plopped herself down in front of the TV.

TV was always a good distraction from the realities of a sucky day. Scooping the melty ice cream contentedly down her throat, she mindlessly attempted to watch the comedy on screen but it didn't matter how much she tried to distract herself, she could not get the kiss out of her head. It left her feeling all hot and flustered, and the sensation still tingled on her lips though it had happened hours previous.

She hated how her body had reacted to him; how it still reacted to his presence. She could feel his mouth demandingly on hers, she could feel her stomach tense and coil with pleasure, and Ichigo tried to pull herself together.

She had no idea he was such a good kisser.

She scowled, hating the way her mind thought at times. This was getting ridiculous.

This was Ryou Shirogane after all. It wasn't plausible, logical, or possible.

Well, she supposed that was bit harsh. To be fair, she could grudgingly admit that he was a highly attractive specimen of the male gender. With a lithe yet muscular build towering just over six feet and ice blue eyes, Ryou was named one of the top most eligible bachelors in the city.

He also had the reputation of being the biggest heartbreaker and a cold bastard to boot (Ichigo could vouch for that, he was still and always would be an ass). Yet it still did not stop women from constantly fawning over the twenty-three year old.

And it pissed the fuck out of her.

Not because she was jealous, no, because he was smug, heartless _child _who did not need a reason for a bigger ego.

Still, Ichigo couldn't say she hated him. They were friends….sort of. Hell, she had known him since she was twelve years old and ten years later, surprisingly; they were still in each other's lives. Ichigo had expected that once the mew team had dwindled away so would whatever relationship they had.

She had accepted that fact grudgingly, believing that according to Ryou she was just a member of the team; a job. No ties or friendships tethering him to her. It had hurt her to know that's all she was to him, an object, but he had told her straight to her face that she was a 'treasured weapon'.

She had held onto those words tightly for years. And it had hurt. And she had pretended it didn't. Hiding behind a cool exterior and attempt at unfazed attitude she had said fuck him. Who cared?

Yet once the team was retired for good and she was no longer a "weapon" and just simply a girl, they had still remained in touch even though she was no longer useful to him, even though there were no more aliens to fight.

It warmed her heart to think that when he stopped by to say hey or call her up on the phone, there was no secret agenda, no reason—merely just wanting to spend time with her.

Strangely, they had grown closer; they had become, dare she say it? Friends.

He was a big part of her life now, it felt strange to say it but it was true. She couldn't imagine a week where she didn't see him.

And sure, their friendship mostly consisted of bickering, childish antics, and charged angst but somewhere in the middle of all that shit, they managed to have fun and enjoy each other's company as well.

Her friends on the other hand were delusional. They misinterpreted this tensely charged relationship of angst into something short of attractiveness.

She had always scoffed at the idea; hell would freeze over first before she was caught dead locking lips with Shirograne. But…maybe they had been partly right?

He had kissed her. Did he….like her? Her mind rejected that idea quickly. It just wasn't plausible. She knew him, knew his type of girl- leggy and blonde—and she was sadly neither.

She glanced down at her pudgy, pink haired self with a sigh. Though she was twenty-two, she still looked like she was in high school. She was always complimented on being a cute girl but never as sexy. Ichigo supposed she never could be with her rosy cheeks, short height, and chubby body. Hell, she would describe herself as strawberry short-cake not a-oh gosh, a strawberry cake sounded good right now-

But she was getting carried away now, the topic of all her turmoil was Ryou and knowing Ryou this was probably a scam, a stupid point or something that he was trying to prove; Maybe some alpha male crap or bet or something of that nature. Getting with something he couldn't have or just trying to scramble her head much like what was happening now.

Right, no point dwelling on it. She would just yell at him tomorrow….and maybe things could go back to the way they were, comfortable and safe.

Because even though she was pissed at him, she couldn't imagine her life without him in it. It would be empty… and…and boring.

And then the clear ding of her doorbell startled her reflections and musings, and everything went down to hell.

As she blinked, dumbfounded at the doorway, Ichigo saw a very drunk Ryou swaying slightly on her porch.  
>This would prove not to be a normal night.<p>

**If you read, please review!**

**XXXXX**


	3. Impossible

**Chapter 3. Impossible.**

_If you were here tonight_

_I'd find a million ways to say I love I you_

_But I can't turn back time and I can't make you mine_

_It's impossible_

* * *

><p>Ichigo stared in sheer astonishment at the sight that stood before her, swaying from side to side on her porch.<p>

That sight being a six foot giant clad in nothing but a pair of sweatpants.

Did she mention that he wasn't wearing a shirt? Because he totally wasn't and she found it to be momentarily distracting. Blushing lightly, her eyes determinedly tried to fix on his face instead of the disturbingly attractive body of sinewy muscle and abs that were clearly in view.

_Focus. _

And focus she did for she imagined the cheeky smirk on his face if he caught her admiring his package. No siree. She would die of embarrassment first.

_Why the hell was he here anyway? Past one o'clock now, not a time suitable for unexpected guests. _

"Ryou, what the hell are you doing here?" Her voice was snappish and rude but she did not care. After all the emotional trauma he had put her through today, he should know better than to come knocking on her door. He was surely not as dimwitted in his realization to her displeasure. He should not be able to just stroll up into her apartment as if nothing had happened, like he hadn't made a fool of her.

Ichigo's eyes narrowed as her eyes roved his face, finally noticing the physical details of his appearance. His blonde hair was in complete disarray, bleary red rimmed eyes hid his usual piercing gaze, the stink of alcohol contaminated his breath, and as for his balance….

Ryou's drunk, Ichigo realized.

She stared at him in disbelief, arms crossed across her chest defensively.

She had to repeat it again just to understand the statement for, logically, Ryou and drunk did not coexist. As long as she had known him, Ichigo had never seen him drunk, _ever. _And to her knowledge he never got drunk, not at Christmas parties, birthdays, and New year's (which in her opinion was the best excuse to be pissed out of your head).

But her influence had done little to sway the stick-in-the mud- completely in control of his life- attitude. He had flatly told her time and time again, he just did not like the sensation of being totally out of control, that he liked his wits about him.

It did not matter if she taunted him about being a bore or an old man, he just retaliated by calling her a childish brat.

However she was resolved to make him learn how to 'let loose' and relax every once in a while. Ryou had led a hard life and it was her personal mission to cheer him up. Through the years she had learned a great deal about him and believed him to have the most tragic past of anyone she had ever known.

"Ichigo" He slurred, for once not his usual charismatic self.

Her eyes softened with concern, the hostility leaving them, and she stepped onto the porch to support him. Wrapping his arm snugly around her shoulder blade, she moved him forward staggering under his weight.

"Christ, you're cold!" she exclaimed as she grasped his icy skin.

He laughed, frustration tightening round his eyes "Always…I'm always cold, cold, cold but you don't even realize" He swatted her hand away, moving jerkily into her home, never wanting assistance as per usual.

"Well, come right in" She called sarcastically as his disappearing back made its way into her home.

_He is completely impossible. _Ichigo thought inwardly, and sighed loudly as she watched him amble unsuccessfully about. When Ryou stumbled again, grabbing the banister to remain upright, she decided enough was enough.

"why are you so obstinately stubborn about receiving my help?" Ichigo exclaimed angrily, rushing to him once more. She reached for his hand firmly, pulling it around her waist as he tried again to remove it.

"Stop it" She hissed. "You'll fall and then don't blame me"

"You don't know the affect you have on people do you?" came the out of blue reply. He walked faster, away from her grasping fingers.

"That has nothing to do with anything and anyway, I know what YOU think of me. I know I'm some stupid, shallow girl to you. I'm always too happy. I never do what I'm supposed to and I never follow the rules. And you hate that" she ranted, listing off things that irked him.

He glowered "You never listen to what I'm trying to say"

"That's another one! I never listen. I'll just add it to your list of all my annoying features will I? I'll try to improve myself for you" ichigo replied viciously.

"You just did it, again. Why am I not surprised" He chuckled, his shoulders shaking with drunken, belly aching laughter.

And it enraged her further. Laughing, he was always laughing at her. He was always messing with her, just like his stupid kiss. She could never win the wits battle or the intelligent insult battle, she always lost as she fumbled awkwardly with her words or with a witty come back. Whereas Ryou always had a lifetime supply of sarcasm and dry humor to win every play on words.

"stop LAUGHING!" she shrilled.

"Strawberry, believe me, this whole situation is no way, shape or form humorous, but how blissfully ignorant you are is just….it's just so like you…I don't even know why I bothered at all" He replied simply, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

It made her so angry. She did not understand fully what he was implying but her body was hot with rage. Eyes scrunched up, face red with anger, new founded strength surged up her arms. His blue eyes widened with surprise as she punched him straight in the nose which reverberated a resounding crack.

! ! !

! ! !

So, it was never a good idea to punch a drunk person. Or maybe it was never a good idea to get Ichigo really, really angry. Either way the result was the same, ending with Ryou moaning in complaint as he slumped on her couch holding his profusely bloody nose.

"I can't believe you punched me!" He moaned.

"Yeah, well you deserved it" She said childishly, sticking out her tongue as she attempted to dab at his nose with a napkin. He gave her a strange look, and she felt the flashback of being a ten year old girl again approached by none, and given numerous strange looks that were deduced by her apparently odd behavior.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" Ichigo grumbled. "I got that enough as a child thanks"

"Like that's surprising, Just give me the napkin; I can clean up the blood myself thanks. You've done enough you vicious, vicious woman "

It felt strangely like giving in and losing if she backed off. Ichigo decided she was an odd, odd person. But whatever, if this was a round, then she was going to win the god damn point. She was just obstinately stubborn and he was bleeding, and hell she just wanted to fix the damage she had done.

"Let me help" She pushed his hands away and reached rather fiercely for his nose.

"What are you doing? Get off me" He protested, waving her attempts away.

"I'm helping. Just like any good friend does."

"No, Ryou replied dryly, you just feel guilty about breaking my nose"

"I did not break your nose you…drama queen!"

"Oh yes, Ryou said sarcastically, and you're just miss sensibility and rationality aren't you?" His blue eyes danced with humor even through the coating of dried blood on his face. Her fingers itched to wipe the blood, the one blemish on his otherwise flawless face.

Did she say flawless?

She meant flawless in a completely, unattractive way of course. Full of flaws. Ichigo tried hard to convince herself.

"Would you just let me help?"

"No!"

"Stop moving-being difficult" Ichigo gritted out through clenched teeth and with a fierce bout of determination she jumped on him. He let out a surprising yelp as her claws extended, digging into his skin, more likely causing more damage than good. Her legs straddled his waist and her arms pinned his, as she forcefully pushed him back into the couch.

It was sheer luck and his slow inebriated reflexes that made her attack actually work but she was nothing if not crafty. With a triumphant hah, she raised one hand and scoured the blood off his face with satisfaction.

"HAH" She exclaimed.

Ichigo had won this point, and she felt oddly proud. She had beaten a six foot man in the strength department and she would be teasing him without mercy through the years to come. Never mind the fact that it had been an underhand tactic, it didn't matter how one won his battles right?

Right, well her moral code needed to be checked, but whatever.

She glanced down at the man before her and then froze awkwardly realizing how much in the vicinity he really was.

"Well this is cozy" He drawled, eyes half-lidded with booze, and voice oozing of suggestiveness.

Ichigo stared, turning from smug amazon woman to a cat in fright, as she acknowledged her rather sexual position.

If her mother would see her now….

Ichigo lay practically atop of Ryou, both snugly folded into her two seater couch. He was flat on his back with a shirt that had still yet to appear. His breathing was heavy, his abs contorting at every breathe as he watched her with widened eyes. She had never seen him so thrown off in her life.

She was effectively pinning him down, her strawberry pink hair tickling his chest, arms pushing against his shoulders, and her legs straddling his waist. She felt extremely vulnerable and way out of her depth. She had really gotten carried away with that stupid bloody nose and now she didn't know how to untangle her limbs from Ryou's. They were like one entangled puzzle.

Ichigo started when Ryou's hand gingerly reached up, tangling its way up through her hair, and effectively massaging her scalp.

"Ryou…" She warned, but she didn't move. She had never been this close to him before, and his blue eyes were mesmerizing. His face was so close that it was open to her inscrutable searching; she could see every freckle and scar on his face. All his blemishes were open for her to see. And he was looking at her with the same open-eyed wonder that she had never seen before. She had never had anyone look at her with that much intensity and she blushed hotly.

"You're drunk" She whispered as his hand made small circles against her back.

"I know what I want" He whispered back.

Ichigo reared back, overwhelmed. _What did she want? What was she doing?_

_What did she want?_

Ryou's hands ran lightly across her body, never stopping, yet goosebumps erupted on every part of her skin that his hands came across. A trial of fire ignited in his wake and she gasped at the physical sensation her body had to his. She wanted him, her body ached for him, and yet it was _wrong. _

He was beautiful and he was her friend. He knew her better than anyone but…she remained undecided, agonizing over whether to keep on going or whether to throw him off.

_It'll jeopardize our friendship! _

Icy cold lips pressed against her neck, leaving multiple hypocritical scorching kisses down her collarbone. Her eyes rolled back in her head with pleasure and she couldn't help the small mew that escaped from her throat. Without thinking, she draped her clothed body against his half covered one, folding like a blanket in the confines of his chest.

He hummed his appreciatively, his arms enclosing around her waist and keeping her prisoner.

"I love you" He murmured, voice husky and eyes smoldering. She went rigid in his arms, filled with shock and tense with arousal.

_He what?_!

Her mind went haywire, a whirlwind of emotions and questions filling her brain as she tried to comprehend the three words.

_I love you. Did he really?_

She lay curled up in his chest, afraid to face him and afraid to talk to him, unsure how she herself felt. Finally her eyes peered up to meet his face to find him to be….asleep.

Most anticlimactic moment ever, Ichigo thought as she looked at his sleeping form in disbelief. Her body was still in ignited fury begging for some kind of relief and Ichigo tried to calm down.

_The asshole fell asleep! Didn't even finish what he started…_

But maybe it was for the best, she had all night to think about how she wanted this chapter of her life to conclude. Would this be the beginning or the end of her and Ryou's relationship?

She had a big life decision to contemplate and on that note, she tentively lifted herself off the sleeping Ryou and dashed to the kitchen for some cookie dough ice cream, the savior for all decision makings.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi there,<strong>

**Well I appreciate the few people who reviewed. Thank you so much! Anyway, this story is almost at its end. I'll be writing one more chapter as conclusion, and this will be told from Ryou's perspective. What do you think of the switching perspectives between chapters by the way? Is it annoying that I swapped from Ryou to Ichigo? Is it better to remain in one perspective the whole way? I can never decide.**

**I hope you review, it's a click of a button away, and it makes my day, seriously.**

**Also, check out my other RyouxIchigo story, Cruel summer. I haven't updated for quite a long while but I promise that I haven't forgotten about it. **

**Sineadxrose**

**XXXXXX**


	4. The day after

**Chapter 4. The Day After**

_All of my chances swim like sinking ships_

_This time it's it; I'll drown or make her mine._

* * *

><p><em>Kill me now. <em>

This was Ryou's Shirogane immediate thought as he slowly dwindled into consciousness. A small guttural grunt reverberated in his throat in complaint to his aching body.

He wished he could slip back into the folds of his dreamless sleep where everything had been warm and bearable. Being awake was a horrible, miserable experience. His head ached, his tongue felt swollen, and his throat was constricted. He could only imagine what he looked like.

He scratched an itch on his face and felt the scruff that was starting to form.

That was just icing on the cake.

_This settles it, _Ryou thought idly, _I'm a completely unhygienic, deplorable man. Even woman would flee from me right now. _

He sighed, thinking longingly of a hot shower with lots of soap and scrubbing involved. Ichigo may have laughed at his impeccable hygiene but it was in his experience that presenting yourself well just put you above the standard person. It made you superior, and differentiated you from others.

And Ryou liked nothing better than to be above the average man.

Running his tongue across his dry, caked lips, he pondered:

Where was he now anyway?

For this lumpy, musty thing he was sleeping on was definitely not one of his own purchases. He was all about comfort and this couch was clearly anything but that. It contorted his tall, lithe body into a twisted pretzel with his legs dangling uncomfortably over the sides.

Reluctantly opening his blue eyes, he took in the familiar setting of antique objects, cluttered things, and feminine magazines haphazardly thrown around the room.

_Shit. _

Dawning recognition filtered across his face amid horror.

_I went to Ichigo's last night. I'm still at Ichigo's. Fuck. _

He ran a hand through his bed ragged hair, slowly sitting up while his eyes cautiously darted about the room, to his relief finding it empty of the cheery red head.

_I was shitfaced. I made a complete fool of myself, again. This must be a record for me._

Still, there were gaping holes in his memory. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he tried to recall the missing chunks yet just came up horribly blank.

The parts he did remember with a wince and grimace were ambling over to Ichigo's apartment late last night, stumbling about and trashing her place, and throwing up while Ichigo whispered soothing nothings of comfort in his ear.

Self-loathing washed through his body, he was an idiot. He hated the idea of being vulnerable and dependent like a child; yet, last night, he was both.

The idea of being dependent and intimate upon someone else was something he was not really fond of. Since his parents had died at a young age, he was used to taking care of himself with minimum love and helplessness involved.

There were genuinely few people he cared for. Though his profession offered him numerous coworkers and he often accompanied them to dinner, bars, or parties they were still more of acquaintances then friends. Honestly, it was more of a way to ease his boredom than anything else. It never really bothered him though, he wasn't one of those people who minded being in isolation.

Ryou knew he did not really fit with the majority of people. He was always at the edges of a crowd or dismissively aloof. He couldn't personally relate to any of these people and he supposed to most of them he came off as a jackass. Maybe he was one. He didn't really know.

However, there were few people who had managed to prove the exception and wedge a place within his heart.

Keiichiro being namely one, was more like his brother then any blood relative he ever had. He had been Ryou's caretaker when he was little, his confident when he was older, and his long life friend forever; Ryou could not imagine his life without his easy going, patient and tolerant friend.

Zakuro was also surprisingly one of the few people he could understand and who understood him. They connected with each other, latched onto their surprisingly similarities of not fitting in, seclusion problems, and overall need to find independence. She had lived most of her life sustaining herself, her confidence being top notch. Her drive to speak her own mind was something he valued himself.

Lastly of course, there was Ichigo. She who was completely opposite from him in so many ways. His affection for her did not seem plausible. His love for her did not compute.

He was sarcastic, dry, witty; she was cheerful, bubbly, and simple tongued.

He was complicated, a deep thinker, a cautious person; she was predictable, naïve, and sweet natured.

He was realistic; she was optimistic.

He was closed off; and she was open with her arms spread wide .

A small creaking of the floorboards startled him from his thoughts.

_Crap. _He thought inwardly. _He did not know how to deal with this, with her. _He sat up, realizing for the first time the baby blue blanket Ichigo had adorned him with. A small smile tugged on his lips along with mingled exasperation at her nurturance.

"Hey Ryou" her voice chirruped " How you doing?"

He cocked his head, looking at her defensive yet curious posture. Ichigo was leaning against the doorway, keeping her distance, and scrutinizing him. She was acting different, he knew her well enough to realize. She was wary and excited and conflicted and happy. She was a bunch of emotions that he couldn't identify and could only surmise it had to do with their kiss two nights previous and his drunken stupor, last night.

For once he wished he had dosed himself up with some sort of Kirma animal so he could have telepathic powers. Reading her mind would sure be helpful right now….

"Um, hey" He cleared his throat, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. The silence that followed was incredibly awkward and he resolved to fix it.

"Listen, I….I wanted to apologize for my behavior these last few days. I haven't been myself" He said solemnly.

"I was drunk and if I did anything to upset you, I most likely didn't mean it"

He could swear he was imagining it but it almost seemed like she was disappointed. Her chin dropped a little and her eyes lost that luster of excitement. Ryou continued to ramble, feeling foolish, but persistent in his apology.

"I'm sorry that you had to put up with me last night when I was completely wasted. I can't remember much but I hope I didn't do or say anything inappropriate….did i?" He questioned.

She hesitated, a second to long for a simple no, and Ryou's blue eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"…..No, No nothing happened. You were, we were, fine"

"Remind me, what did happen then?"

"Nothing really. Drinking just made you more of an ass then usual and I punched you" she said with a smirk.

"I distinctly remember that" He said dryly, touching the small bruise.

Still, she _was lying. _He could sense it. He could _see it. _She wouldn't meet his eye and she was jittery, her feet shuffling from side to side. It was frustrating for him not to know the reason why, to not remember the cause even though he had probably partaken in it.

"Anyway, Ichigo continued, I'm making some tea….would you like some? Or you just gonna head home now?"

A few minutes ago he would have all for a quick goodbye and his own home. However now, with this mystery lingering over his head, he wasn't going anywhere. Not till he figured out what happened last night anyway.

"Yeah, I'd like some tea if you wouldn't mind me crashing upon your hospitality once more"

"Not at all" she smiled, still not meeting his eyes, a blush randomly heightening her cheeks.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He remarked with a yawn, stretching his limbs as he stood and approached her.

"Nothing…I'm…uh…", he had never seen her so flustered, I'm going to grab you a clean shirt"

_Right. He wasn't wearing one. No wonder it was a tad chilly. _He smirked as he saw her gaze stray downwards. Working out always had its perks.

"I don't mind" he said with a wicked grin.

"I do" She muttered, "Go to the kitchen. I'll get you one" She tossed over her shoulder.

!

Ryou draped himself across one of the kitchen chairs, noting to his surprise that Ichigo's kitchen was for once in mint condition. There wasn't a plate, dish, or speck of dust in sight.

"Your kitchen is really clean" He remarked in surprise as she waltzed into the room, "almost as clean as mine, I might add"

"Yeah well, I was having difficulty sleeping last night so I put my momentary insomnia to good use" She gestured around the room "You should have seen this place yesterday"

He didn't comment on her strange remark of not sleeping since Ichigo usually excelled in that department and only wordlessly accepted the t-shirt she offered him.

It was clearly a man's shirt. The size and style alone emphasized this as well as slight smell of cologne made it very distinctive. It had been folded carefully, washed and laundered; Ichigo had clearly taken good care of this shirt even though it looked old and worn.

He felt strange holding it and he held back the irrational surge of jealousy that billowed inside of him.

"Whose shirt is this?" He inquired, pretending not to really care.

"Masaya's"

She looked at him then, defensively "I know what you're thinking….but it's not like that. I don't love him anymore, I'm not moping over him." She paused as she thought "it's been years since we dated. But I can't throw his shirt away. It's a memento of all the great memories we shared, of the love we shared at one point in time"

She smiled blissfully, lost in her romantic love of the past. The feelings she had felt then, the jitters and excitement. It was sad that it had all dwindled down to nothing.

"You don't have to explain to me. I was just curious. The Adidas brand is clearly not your style"

"Right"

"Mhm"

A heavy silence ensued once more, broken only by the sound of his gurgling stomach. Ichigo's face brightened

"You hungry?"

"Actually, yeah"

"Great", Ichigo turned to rummage in her kitchen cabinets, "I baked some brownies yesterday and I have A TON left over. It'd be lovely if you'd polish them off for me. I don't want to throw them away" She finished brightly.

"What am I, a garbage disposal?" He remarked acidly.

His voice laced with suspicion "How come you didn't eat them anyway? You love brownies more than life itself"

"Erm, I did eat them. There were just…..too many for me to finish them all!" She dropped a plateful of brownies in front of his face. "Eat"

"Liar" He scoffed as he looked at the supposed brownies, more like burnt pieces of charcoal "no wonder you didn't eat them. They look like coal….not food"

She sighed, not bothering to fight over this, "Well it was worth a shot" She shrugged. "You loved them last night"

He gagged at the thought of stuffing those rock-like objects in his body.

"And you let me eat those things?" He exclaimed, horrified.

"Hell yeah I did" she giggled. "At least when you're drunk you like my cooking"

"That's the only way someone will like your cooking" he muttered darkly.

The whistle of the tea kettle broke their light hearted bickering and Ichigo turned towards it with a smile. Ryou's tense shoulders eased slightly. It was nice to regain some sort of normalcy between them. Things had been strained lately, but this was conversation was easy and light. It was the way things used to be: two friends just having breakfast and sharing a laugh.

"Ah, cabinets….why do you tease me so?" Ichigo's mutterings made him glance up. She was standing to her fullest height of five foot, three inches, arms stretched as high as they would go, and making little leaps as she tried to reach the mugs that were quite out of her reach.

He smirked in amusement. "Baka, why the hell would you put your cups on the highest of shelves that you obviously can't reach?"

"Wishful thinking?" She huffed with aggravation "I don't freaking know why, but want to get over here and help me? Mr. Six foot"

"Actually I'm six foot' two"

"Yeah, whatever. Practically the same thing anyway" She waved her hand dismissively.

His eyes flitted up and down the length of her body automatically, a subconscious reaction. He couldn't help admiring her body while being disgusted at himself at the same time. Still, it was hard to concentrate when she was clad in nothing but a pair of shorts and tang top, leaving little for the imagination and a good eyeful of legs. Bent over the counter like that…she was probably every man's fantasy.

"Ryou will you get off your ass and help me" She demanded hotly, scowling upwards at those unreachable cups.

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming" Ryou pulled himself out of his lounging position to his full height, body tense with arousal. He walked over, pressing his chest against the small of her back as he reached around her to grab the cups.

She had stilled against him. In a way, he supposed he had trapped her. His arms were on either side of her head, lodged against the cabinets. She was being pushed forward against the counter and he was pressed against her. He could feel her erratic breathing and his own had sped up as well, their proximity affecting him.

She was intoxicating. His hand hesitatingly brushed against the pink strands of hair surprised at their silky softness.

"Ryou…." Her voice was squeaky and quavering, and he quickly released her hair and his fascination with it.

"Sorry", he muttered, "Erm…" Ryou was at a loss for words, at a loss at how to explain how he felt about her, about how much she truly meant to him. It was ironic and strange that she had made him, he who was a proficient speaker, into a boy who had become wordless countless times throughout the day.

"Ryou...I" she was struggling, it was clear to tell. Something was clearly preoccupying her mind, and she was flustered. He was expecting an angry rebuttal, 'a get out of my house', 'sexual harassment' or a 'you big jerk'. However, what he wasn't expecting was what she blurted out:

"We kissed last night. And I think I sort of enjoyed it.."

* * *

><p><strong>Hey readers!<strong>

**So, I know I said this was just going to be a four part story but I'm going to have to add one more chapter because I don't want to squeeze everything into this one. It would be too cramped. **

**Anyway, if you've been reading this story, and are still reading it: thank you! And thanks for the people who reviewed. It means a lot to me and it makes my day **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. ERm, there might be a tad sum of grammar mistakes but once I finish the story completely; I'm going to edit all the chapters for additional details and grammar mistakes. I've realized the ages are inconsistent, I completely forgot when I was writing it but to clear it all up, in my mind, Ryou is 23 and Ichigo is 21. **

**So please review! Pleaseeee. It's very discouraging to write a story when you never get feedback or critiques. The chapters take ages to write and a review takes a second, so drop one ;)**

**Okay, I'm done hinting for reviews. **

**Quick question though: whose perspective do you prefer Ichigo's or Ryou's? and what perspective would you like the last chapter in. I'm leaning towards Ichigo though. **

**Anyway that's it for now. Last chapter will hopefully be up soon! Review! **

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Sineadxrose**


	5. Someone I need

_You know that I could use somebody_

_Someone like you_

* * *

><p>Ichigo did not know how she had, once again, come to be into the position of passionately locking lips with Ryou Shirogane. To state it mildly, the foundation and simplicity of their platonic friendship was destroyed. Gone. Eradicated.<p>

That assumption had completely gone to hell, being blown into irreparable tatters and pieces that were never to be put back together the same way again.

Their relationship was all sorts of a confused, fucked up mess. Friends? Coworkers? Lovers? Who knew?

It was probable that their friendship was irreparable after this week but Ichigo could not find it in herself to care in that particular moment. Her hands curled decisively into his blonde locks, pulling him ever closer as the descending mind boggling fog, spiraling from his kisses, lowered her further into the stupor of a dazed six year old.

She tried to rise above it. She attempted to think. She knew she had point. Knew there was a reason she had to stop his kissing even though it felt so good and made her knees go weak.

Her cat ears popped out due to her rushed emotions of heat and excitement and she gasped in pleasant surprise; it had been such a long time since they popped out without her say. It had been such a long time since emotions had driven the control right out of her body. It had been such a long time since a boy caused her such a physical reaction that she had forgotten just how it felt like. But Ryou wasn't just any boy. And the sight of her newly popped up ears did not freak him out or disgust him, instead she could feel him smile against her lips as he reached out to stroke them, much like petting a cat.

However, she knew it was too good to be true for such a pleasant, romantic session to last. Ichigo knew her luck in love, which basically was not having any at all, which sucked. And of course, naturally, her "high" on endorphins came to a screeching halt with a simple gesture.

AS Ryou gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, his face pressed against the crook of her neck, a sense of de ja vu violently struck her with a savagery.

A similar scenario.

The same: _tucking-hair-behind -ear -gesture_.

But it had not been her. It had been a different girl.

Reality set in.

An icy coldness steadily seeped into her bones as the enlightening thought forcibly broached its way to the horizon. Her uncertainty and confusion was like metaphorical death, slowly sucking the passion and heat right out of her body. Her hands loosened their clenched grip upon his shoulders; her mind suddenly erupting with different memories and apprehensions. An overwhelming array of questions that she did not know how to begin to unravel washed over her amidst her doubt and Insecurity.

Who was she really? She was nothing like his others. They had been leggy and flawless with perfect hair and sexy doe eyes and an overall layer of seductiveness. She was absolutely nothing like them in appearance or personality. She was short with a mass of ridiculously pink colored hair and a countenance of freckles and always- rosy cheeks. She was not witty or an intellectual genius. She wasn't calm or collected and hell, she wasn't even that mature. She vividly remembered last week hiding in Mint's closet, stifling giggles, and waiting for Mint to return to scare the shite out of her.

So yeah.

Nothing like them.

Not his type.

Why did he want her? And even if he did want her, what did that entail? Was what they had a one-night stand? A simply physical relationship?

That girl she had walked in on him with had barely lasted a week before their relationship had ended. When Ichigo had asked him what had been wrong with the girl, he had dismissively replied that he wasn't looking for anything serious.

She had remembered mouthing angrily to him that he should have told that sentiment to the poor girl before he had hooked up with her since she was now stifling sobs in the cafes bathroom, wondering what she had done wrong.

It all inevitably came around to the present, to right now, to the idea that she might become that girl crying a few days later because he was not looking for anything serious.

Ryou continued to press butterfly kisses down her collarbone, unaware of her conflicted views.

She wanted to have a relationship involving friendship, love, time, and laughter. She wanted it all, not just an aspect of it. And she wanted to try to have it with him. It was like in these past few days her mind had become open to all these possibilities that she had never entertained before. His kiss had brought out the sweetness and passion of a promise for future. She could taste the future on his lips, practically in her grasp. And she hadn't been able to stop thinking about it.

But if he didn't want the same thing…..if Ryou just wanted something momentary without depth or feeling then she couldn't do this. She would have to stop him.

The tightness in her chest and the emotional anxiety cloaking her created a physical reaction in her body. Associating this sensation with that of when Ichigo was in "battle mode", her body went into overdrive to protect her. Unconsciously looking for danger to the cause to her distress, her claws extended automatically as if to shear and claw away the problem. In a flash of a second, Ichigo had unconsciously pierced Ryou's skin, feeling the blood drip down his neck in horror moments later.

ARGH-dammit!"

He swore, jerkily moving back from her and griping his neck in shock.

"What the hell is with you?" he exclaimed angrily. His hands had quickly reached to his neck, feeling the severity of the cut.

"AH! I didn't mean, I just-Are you okay?" Guilt washed over her.

He sighed, his anger deflating rapidly but frustration clearly still tight in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But why'd you claw me?" He said pointedly. "Second time you've abused me I might add. Becoming to be quite the violent one….or maybe it's just because I'm in the vicinity? Am I some sort of scapegoat to you, or a punching bag or is this some sort of kinky thing you're into-?"

"Will you just shut up?" Ichigio moaned "There you go on one of your tangents and here I am trying to apologize. Don't you want to hear me say sorry? It doesn't come often"

He snapped his mouth shut quickly, blue eyes glittering.

Yeppers. He sure did what an apology. And a good one at that. Tough luck, a sorry was all he deserved. Not some sucking up to the boss speech.

"I'm sorry… I wasn't intentionally trying to claw you….it was a subconscious reaction" ichigo muttered stiffly.

"Ok, so you subconsciously want to tear me to bits? That's comforting" He replied bitingly back.

Ichigo pressed her fingers to her aching temples, rubbing them slowly as she tried to relieve the approaching headache coming on. A sigh escaped her lips as she looked at the once again, defensive boy in front of her.

She did not know how to deal with this and he looked in no mood to talk. His eyes were fiery and his mouth firmly shut, and the berth he gave them made her want to cry out, reach across the distance and find comfort in his touch once more.

She had no idea it would come to this.

Ryou stood there, eyes glimmering and breathe heavy. He regarded her silently. His expression stoic and his hands shoved causally in his jean pockets. Here he was completely calm and collected like hadn't been passionately making out with her, ready to ravage one of his closest friends on the kitchen table minutes previous.

This had not been the direction in which she had thought their conversation would go and inevitably lead up. Once again he had surprised her, caught her off guard, and kissed her. Three times in a frickin row.

It seemed like a pattern now.

She was a shame to the felines.

She supposed she should have known that admitting to liking his kiss was akin to asking for more but honestly she had been expecting a heart to heart talk about. To hash out all the details, figure out what was going on, whether it was even a good idea. Ichigo was a talker. A talker who liked clarification and she had wanted to discuss whatever they had with him but instead her admission of '_last night we kissed and I think I sort of like it'_ Had resulted in him placing his lips against her own, igniting the fire throughout her skin, and making all the queries she had disappear to the back of her mind.

"What's going on with us?" She asked. She gave no premise or opening, targeting the finesse of the problem.

He opened his mouth to respond but the piercing ring of the doorbell startled them both and they blinked disorientated. So caught up had they been in their small little world revolving around them and their problems, everything past them seemed eons away.

"I guess, um, I'll get that" Ichigo said distractedly as the incessisent door ringer became more prominent, rapidly ringing every ten seconds. He didn't move, just shrugged tersely and continued to unnervingly watch her with unhidden desire burning in his eyes as she walked away.

It was a relief to get of the terse bubble of their confrontation, to simply leave the room and his presence gave her the mentality to breathe freely once more. As she approached the door, head still filled to capacity, Ichigo swung open the door to find none other than her best friend.

Mint Awkiwza stood, standing outside her porch, a scowl gracing her porcelain features. Her arms were crossed lightly across her chest while her foot tapped repeatedly, a sign of her lack of patience. She was put together in meticulous order with her teal hair pulled in a chignon bun and makeup lightly dusting her face. Clad in attire that screamed of her wealth, she looked ready to go out and conquer the world, as per usual.

"What are you doing here?" Ichigo asked, taken aback.

The girl looked possibly more livid at Ichigo's greeting. Her scowl deepened and she took a threatening step forward.

"What am I doing here? What am I doing here? What are you doing, dressed like that? How could you forget, you idiot!" she yelled, face reddening. She had never been one with temperament, lashing out was more her style.

"I-"

"WE booked these tickets ages ago and I am not going alone. I repeat not going alone".

_Oh shit. _Dawning recognition flickered on Ichigo's face, enraging Mint further.

"I-"

"Now you remember do you? Took you long enough! You knew how important this day is to me. But you're in a little daze all the time"

"But-"

"So get off your bum and put on the first clothes you see. Really Ichigo what is with you?"

Silence. Mint finished her rant in a huff, glaring at her best friend in exasperation.

"Are you going to finally let me respond or are you going to cut me off again before I can answer?" Ichigo asked dryly.

Mint only scoffed, raising her eyebrow in aggravation as if to say _well? this had better be good. _

Ichigo paused, trying to think of way to placate her. Mint did have a good excuse to yell at her this time. They had booked these concert tickets months ago and though Ichigo wasn't really interested in this new ballet, Mint aspired to become part of this ballerina company and so Ichigo had willingly decided to accompany her.

So she needed to give her a lengthy explanation.

Mint was her best friend but she was also a blunt bitch who would chew her out if she had reason to. Not that it stopped ichigo from loving her.

Though Mint bluntly told the truth and always replied with sarcasm dripping from every word, she was hilarious. Her dry-wit and shameless opinions always brought tears to Ichigo's eyes. She was a loyal friend who would easily turn savage if someone so much as hurt anyone she cared about. She was bossy and rude but once you found a place in her heart, she would do anything for you. Ichigo was sure that she still had not figured out the complicated personality that was Mint's whole persona but time and time again, she would be surprised at the length the girl would go to so to protect her friends.

"Listen, I am SO sorry I forgot about the concert. It's just I—I", Ichigo frowned, "What's wrong with you?" For Mint's eyes had widened, her mouth making a perfectly shaped 'O' of surprise, and she was clearly not listening to a word of what Ichigo was saying.

"Hey Mint" came the casual remark from the boy who had clearly been too impatient to just wait in her kitchen.

Ichigo closed her eyes aghast before opening them once more to glare around her shoulder.

_Stupid idiot. No patience at all._

She could only imagine what this would like to Mint. Ichigo could only watch hopelessly as Mint drew conclusions, connecting unfeasible dots that would be hard to deter her from.

It was early morning, too early for visitors. They were only in their bed things and Mint's eyes analyzed all this, sharp as she was. She focused on Ichigo's mussed up hair and bruised lips. And then she smirked.

However, before Mint could open her mouth with a snarky reply, Ichigo had grabbed her arm and dragged her forcefully outside the door.

"I'll be right back" she barked over her shoulder "I'm just going to say goodbye to Mint" And she tugged the unwillingly girl outside.

* * *

><p>"Well goodbye" Ichigo said in a rush, knowing this would never work. Hell would freeze over first before Mint smiled placated, with a quick goodbye. Of course not. Mint would want all the details. She would want to know why Ichigo hadn't told her. No, she would demand it. It wasn't that Ichigo hadn't wanted to tell her. It's just she hadn't really had the time in the last few days.<p>

"Listen Mint, I'm—"

"I forgive you" Mint said sweetly, her mood swing completely changed, her smile emanating gleefulness.

"i—" Ichigo started, but of course she couldn't get a word in. When Mint had something important to say, she wouldn't let anything deter her. It was one of her obstinately annoying qualities.

"I always knew you two had a thing! There was such a spark between even when we were kids. I never said anything because you were with Masaya at the time but I just knew…"

Ichigo stared at her in belief. Her best friend was crazy.

There had never been a spark all those years ago. Never. Unless it was a spark of hatred or anger.

Mint continued: "He's smoking. You finally snagged a good catch after all those uptight losers you dated. And anyone can clearly tell he's totally into you" She sighed dreamily, caught up in her ridiculous romantic fantasy.

"Childhood friends….finally, inevitably lovers" She sighed, "Such a good story"

Ichigo could only mutter wordlessly at her, flabbergasted.

_Delusional….she was, beyond a doubt, completely delusional. _

"Mint, you're insane" She said finally.

"So you're telling me that nothing has changed with you two?" she said, unfettered.

"Well, not exactly" She hedged, uncomfortably "I'm not really sure…I don't…"

Mint's grin widened, and Ichigo threw an irritated look at her.

"Really, it's not like that all. I don't even know if it's,-if _he's_ worth it" She sighed, running a hand through her tangled locks of hair.

"It's just….well okay, you may be partly right. At least about the later stuff. When we were younger though I was never…I never thought of him like that. I was never attracted to him" her voice trailed off.

_Had she been?_

She had always known he was attractive with his piercing blue eyes and tousled locks of golden blonde hair. But she had never been fazed by it before. He was good looking. Check. But so what?

But as of late….well…

"Me and Ryou's relationship has changed but really quickly. Literally this week. I don't know where it came from or what his reasoning behind it was, but a couple of days ago he kissed me"

Ichigo gazed into space thinking, appreciating Mint's silence. It was an epiphany to her to realize that it was nice getting this off her chest. It was a relief. And so she continued to ramble.

"I threw him off, naturally. It was so sudden, so out of the blue, and so random. We were just conversing about our favorite type of candy and then…and then he was kissing me. I thought it was joke at first. A cruel joke. But when I thought about it later, I realized Ryou wouldn't do that. We're good friends and I know he wouldn't hurt me….not intentionally anyway"

Tears were welling in her eyes, and she didn't know why. She tried to blink them back, it was stupid to cry, and yet they rolled down in fat drops, ignoring her refusal.

"I was so confused. I didn't know why he did what he did. I was scared we would lose our friendship. I was scared that he was messing with my head but I never, not once, thought it was plausible that he might actually like me" She shook her head in disbelief.

Mint touched her shoulder in comfort, letting her friend rant, and processing this new development.

"His kiss opened up so many questions for me. I had never thought before that of what it would be like to be with Ryou in that way. We've been friends for so long that I never even imagined it nor did I think there would be any chemistry between us. But there was. I know this might sound cheesy but it was like I was engulfed in fire when he touched me, any part of me. And now it's got me all confused…I keep seeing him in a different light, I noticed different things about him"

"And today?" Mint broached, "why was he here today?'

"He came over last night. And he was drunk. And he kissed me and I kissed him back. He spent the night" she whispered hoarsely.

"It's morning now…and I still don't know what we are to each other or what he wants from me. He never opens up and it's so hard to get him to express himself. I don't why. I don't know if it's just me he won't talk to. I don't know if going through all that is worth it. He's determined to shut me out or maybe he just doesn't even care" She finished miserably.

Finally, Ichigo glanced up at her Mint. Her friend looked at her, eyes darkened with concern.

"Ichigo, listen to me. This is _Ryou_. You've known him for years for crying out loud! you know what he's like. He might pretend he doesn't care but that's not true. He's a complicated person and he's had a hard life. His defensive walls are way up that he barely lets anyone really in. But that's not you. He lets you in. Maybe not to the degree you would like him to, but more than most people"

Ichigo mulled this over in silence.

It was true. Ryou had always been very conscious- orientated, meaning that he was chalk filled with guilt. He felt bad for everything, believing numerous things to be his fault. And in way, she could see why. In his life he had faced many hardships and overcome much adversity. He shouldered a lot of blame, all self-inflicted. It did not matter how hard she might repeatedly tell him that none of it, absolutely none of it was his fault. He had done the best he could under the circumstances.

It wasn't his fault his parents had died.

It wasn't his fault Lettuce had a permanent knee injury from fighting the invasion.

It wasn't his fault the five mews were constantly in battle.

He didn't listen.

And he rarely let people in. Mint was right. Ichigo, Keichiro, and Zakuro were probably the only three people with whom he let his defenses down, partly at least. She didn't think he had ever let them down completely, with anyone. And she wondered what that would be like.

What would a Ryou, with no barriers and now walls be like? She couldn't imagine him without his qualities of being defensive, guarded, cautious, and protective. He wouldn't be the Ryou she knew or cared for without them.

"It's worth it Ichigo" Mint said firmly. "It's worth trying to get under his skin and really see him. You're so close to breaching beneath it. You could be closing yourself off to something great. Teach him to talk, to express himself. He's a guilt filled, cautious man but that does not mean he is unfeeling. He does care. He just shows it in a different way"

With surprise, Ichigo found Mint's advice useful and shockingly accurate. It made sense, it was true. And Ryou may be enigmatic man but Ichigo was nothing, if not good at getting what she wanted.

And she wanted to know he cared. Because she was wary of giving her heart out to someone, someone like him, and someone who was already irreplaceable in her heart.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey! So I know keep saying this is a last chapter but each time I get caught up in my writing and never getting to the conclusion so I apologize. It's not over and I have no idea when the story will be over, because I keep thinking of new things, plots. So bear with me.<strong>

**Anyway, what did you think? I hope you liked it. Any criticism? Or comment?**

**I haven't really gone back to edit so there are probably some spelling, grammar issues but I figured I'd post it now and go back later to fix it. This chapter was ridiculously long and I just wanted to put it up.**

**Anyway, please review! It's literally a click and two seconds away. Much appreciated. **


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